'Up' here being defined as a willful awakening at sunrise, without the assistance of inconsiderately loud conversation, or the typical passive aggressive action, raising the volume of a radio broadcast to qualify as the most exact definition of blaring there is.
My first thought? Find my phone. That electronic connection to the world outside of my typical routine, my connection to being 'in the know'.
I couldn't find it. Then came a vague recollection of an article read, touting the merits of using a browser, to find a misplaced mobile. I having done this before, knew it was a viable solution.Success was imminent! I got out of bed, woke the laptop from its state of perpetual hibernation, and quickly typed in, 'find my phone'.
And waited.
...
Silence. Stark, and uninterrupted by the melodic peal of my phone's declaration of freedom from the oblivion, which shall henceforth be referred to as 'my room'. My plan having been thwarted, was now relegated to the status, of pipe dream.
I found myself visiting the various browser tabs open, to avail my self of a drink from the fountain of knowledge and inconsequential information before me. Gmail.
Inexplicably drawn to one if the most obscure categories messages are sorted by, I delve into the contents of my spam folder, whilst yet again wondering what the canned meat product tastes like - an understandable word association. Nothing of note. I noticed a folder created by me to separate messages if importance from the flood of correspondence moving freely through my inbox.
A name which once caused echoes of sadness to ripple through the caverns of my heart was first in line. I read the words which when reading the first time, separated my present, into 'before' and 'after'. Remaining unaffected, I accepted its truth. Browsing further, I found this quote by one of my favourite poets, Lang Leav, which reminded me of what I shouldn't forget.
"It happens like this...One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else--closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel--one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them--even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering--the reason for their presence will become clear in due time."~ langleav #loveandmisadventure
(Though here is a word of warning--you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.
Truth in simplicity, and a reminder of the commitment to my journey needed. I was reminded of the growth from who I was - a person in pain, and the blessing of the presence of a friend when I never knew he was on his way. The lesson was taught, and accepted, yet old patterns threatened to return.
My job, is to remember.
No comments:
Post a Comment